HELP! I CAN'T GET UP!!

This weekend I had decided to groom Daisey. Well normally I will sit on the floor to do this but the last couple of months it has gotten very hard to get up off the floor. So I thought I would use a little step stool to sit on. Wrong decision. It takes 30 minutes to an 1 hour to groom Daisey properly. She is pretty good about sitting and letting me have my way. Never the less, I get ready to get up from the position I have been in for 45 minutes and nothing happened. My upper thigh muscles and muscles around my pelvis would not respond. I was stuck. Luckily it was the weekend and Kevin was home. I had to have the kids go get him for me and he had to pull me up. The pain was excruciating. I have vowed to not do that again to myself. To look back it was slightly comical though.

Today I feel miserable. The pelvic pain won't let up even when I am still. Today I could just have a good cry but that would do me no good. Most days I can bear the pain. I just have to lie down and not move between chores.

Due to this mishap and the way I feel today I have decided to write this letter to myself. A reminder of what this pregnancy has been like and why I should not carry any more children. Not because I wouldn't love one or two more but because I really don't think I can physically carry anymore.

I will start out with the things I enjoy. I love knowing I am creating a new life. One that I will love tremendously and that will give me so much joy back. Having children is a true miracle.

All the things I remember enjoying with my other pregnancy's has been zapped with all the crazy new issues I have had with this pregnancy. I started out with the normal morning sickness. Not a big deal, well expected. Then came the headaches out of the blue. I very seldom have headaches so this was very abnormal for me. Thank goodness God allowed for them to go away. They hit me in the middle of morning sickness so my house, I have to say, was on the back burner. All I could do was lie still and in the moments that I felt half way like myself take care of who and what I could. Not good moments.

My morning sickness went away after the second month. The headaches were gone by the third. Then came the pelvic pain. I have been hurting since the third month with this. As my swollen tummy grew the pain got worse. I had some pain with Wynter that was similar but different. With Wynter it only hurt when I walked too much. I pretty much stopped my walking routine with her and it was much better. This time, however, it has only gotten worse. In the third month the pain was just nagging. Then it started affecting my walking and at times my right leg just did not want to move very well. I kind of just got numb to the pain and went about my life. I just pushed through. Now nearing my sixth month I know that it will be only through the grace of God that I will be able to make to the end of this pregnancy without being bed ridden.

In my really bad moments I say prayers and God does give me relief now and then. I know that this is something that I have to go through. I received a prophecy right before I found out I was expecting. It told me that I would have a trial and that I would have to do a lot of praying. I feel this is part of that trial and that I will make it through. I hope it makes me stronger and will give me knowledge to help someone else that crosses my life path. I am very excited to meet my little one and will do my best to get through this with flying colors. I pray that God will continue to have mercy and allow me to be able to take care of my family.